Where your worth resides.

Are you living with abuse?


Love yourself enough to say no more — realize you are worth too much to be treated abusively — and do what it takes to become free.

God did. He loved you so much He sent His only son to die for you — to set you free from sin. What amazing love!

How our Father must grieve to see His children staying in abusive situations because they cannot see their worth in Him.

“Do not be afraid; you are worth more than many sparrows.” ~Matthew 10:30

Do not allow someone who does not value you define who you are — their opinion is not the one that counts.

So — whatever it is you are going through and wherever your journey is taking you — the only way to gain the courage and confidence to escape from abuse is to place your trust in the Lord and find your worth in Him.

If you are in an abusive relationship — leave. While leaving is not easy nor does it necessarily have to be permanent, it often needs to be done in order for change and growth to take place if it’s going to. Staying in an abusive relationship only keeps a victim stuck in a crazy-making cycle of confusion and doubt, making it virtually impossible to think clearly and rationally; leaving allows for clarity and more non-emotional decision making, and creates an action in which change can occur, whatever that may be.

**And let me be very clear here — the change that is necessary for abuse to end DOES NOT fall on the shoulders of the victim. Abuse is NOT a marriage issue, abuse is an individual issue and one that only the abuser can change if they choose to.**

Some would berate me as a Christian for encouraging someone to leave a marriage, but I would say that those who encourage a victim to remain in the midst of abuse are the ones who should be scolded. For staying is far more damaging than leaving.

As someone who has walked that road I can now say with absolute confidence that staying in an abusive marriage only leads to the death of one’s soul. It destroys a person bit by bit, slowly but surely.

Abuse is the sin — not the leaving. Let me say that again — abuse is sin, period. Choosing to leave an abusive relationship is not! Once we get that straight in our minds then we start to get everything else straightened out.

I will leave you with this scripture which I meditated on when going through my separation and being told how wrong I was for what I was doing:

“My son [daughter], preserve sound judgement and discernment, do not let them out of your sight; they will be life for you, an ornament to grace your neck. Then you will go on your way in safety, and your foot will not stumble; when you lie down you will not be afraid; when you lie down your sleep will be sweet. Have not fear of sudden disaster or the ruin that overtakes the wicked, for the Lord will be your confidence.” ~Proverbs 3:21-26

When we listen to the Lord we are never wrong.

May you dear reader find your worth in the Lord and know He loves you more than anything. Our Father does not want to see His children suffer needlessly. Lean on Him, lay your fears at His feet, and may your sleep be sweet tonight.

For more to ponder, please take some time to read these two posts:

When is Enough Enough?

Give Me Five Minutes (Things I Would Like to Say to An Abuse Victim)




7 thoughts on “Where your worth resides.

  1. I love this, Amy! What a wonderful exhortation!

    I pray some who are currently suffering abuse will read this and take it to heart.

    Love your picture, too!


    1. Thanks Joe. I’m still working on the post I mentioned last time, this was just some thoughts I had yesterday and wanted to put out there.

      I spent too many years being told how wrong it is for a Christian to leave a marriage even in the case of abuse. I was told how we are called to suffer, but I now understand what true suffering for Christ looks like — and it is not about just staying in an abusive situation and continuing to be beat down. But that’s for another post I suppose! 😉

      I just feel lately it’s time to share my story and to encourage others walking through abuse that it is okay to take action against it.

      Thanks for visiting!

      Liked by 1 person

  2. Amy, your message is simple and clear and powerful. Your testimony speaks the truth. Just as the heart of God defends godly marriage, there are those who wield the letter of law when the spirit of the law is justice and mercy, those things abusers and their allies refuse to acknowledge.


  3. Dear Amy — Thank you for this post and I hope you keep speaking out. ABUSE is not ever to be accepted. It took me two years to leave an abusive marriage because my abusive church leader kept telling me I needed to stay. WRONG!

    I finally left both and have never looked back. But it was a long road of recovery for when I left that “marriage” — which was not a true marriage — I was just a broken shell of a woman and it took another couple of years surrounded by very loving believers from a new church to help me regain my footing and understand that VICTIMS are NOT the guilty parties.

    ABUSE is a terrible thing and we MUST keep speaking out. Everyday three women in America DIE at the hands of their abusive partners. I have written several times about my experiences — and also about FORGIVING the abuser — and here is one of those posts I would like to share with you and your readers. God bless you, Amy, and keep sharing



    1. Thanks for stopping by, Sheila!
      It took me far too long to leave an abusive marriage due to many factors one being such wrongful teaching from Christians.
      Thank you for the link to your blog post.

      Liked by 1 person

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