Where has all the love gone…


Only two more days until the holiday dreaded by most of the female population arrives — yep, Valentine’s Day.

I find it amazing how this one day out of 365 days can turn otherwise loving, caring people into less-than loving and caring.  Lately, I’m seen quite a few posts on Facebook and blogs bashing Valentine’s Day and it never fails…one person starts a rant and suddenly people come out of the woodwork to echo the same sentiments of what a stupid overly commercialized, ridiculous holiday it is.

And I get it, I really do.  Once upon a time I could have been the poster child for the Haters of Valentine’s Day club, if such a thing existed.  I was cynical at best and threw the best pity parties at my worst.  But I’ve come to accept this holiday as a day to show a little extra love to those around me, particularly, my husband.  Or maybe I’ve just grown up and finally realized I can get chocolate half off the day after Valentine’s Day.

But seriously, this past week as I was reading through some of those Valentine-bashing posts and skimming the too-many-to-count comments, I started feeling rather irritated.  You see, it wasn’t the trashing of Valentine’s day that got to me — I just rolled my eyes — but it was the negativity towards marriage and the tearing down of something that should be built up that caused me to feel, well, sad.  One blogger went on an exhaustive trying-to-be-funny rant –er blog entry — about how each year of marriage gets decidedly worse and why doesn’t Hallmark make Valentine cards to express how most really feel about their ever-becoming-more-stupid-ignorant-crass spouse, better known as the husband.  And even more sad were the multitude of comments written wholeheartedly in agreement and cheering this blogger on for her supposed humorous writing.  Not one — not one — comment did I see representing marriage in a positive light or expressing love towards a spouse.  And before anyone gives me a, “well, you don’t know how my marriage is!” lecture, let me assure you…I’ve been there and know exactly how it can be.

But this post is not about the ups and downs of marriage, how horrible a spouse can be, or how unromantic and unloving they may be towards you.  I know how real all that can be and I personally know marriages that are on the rocks right this moment.  So to those that are struggling in tough, destructive marriages I give you a cyber [hug] along with a big box of chocolates — better yet, go buy yourself a ‘real’ box of chocolates 1/2 off in three days!  And to those who choose to only focus on the negative in your marriage, the little annoying things, I offer you this:  choose to LOVE instead.

Perhaps I would just like to see one positive post regarding Valentine’s Day and marriage.  One positive comment about marriage and truly what a blessing it can be.  One positive thing said about one’s spouse instead of 10 negative things.

After 20 years of “getting it”, I now finally know what a healthy marriage is.  We choose not to take each other for granted and to overlook the little stupid things.  We forgive constantly and love continually.  We are thankful instead of nit picking.  And although it may be something other than flowers and candy given on this day, we always give each other love and yes, even a sappy-cannot-live-without-you Hallmark card!



So even if you choose not to ‘celebrate’ this day of love with your spouse or they blow it off, which I hope is not the case, you can still give love.  Send a Valentine to a long-distance friend, call your mom up and tell her you love her, buy the person’s coffee behind you in line at Starbucks, put a small heart-shaped box of chocolates in your mailbox for your mail carrier to find, buy cards at the Dollar Tree, put a bible verse and dollar bill inside each one, and hand them out to those standing on the street corners…and the list could go on.  What are your ideas?

There are so many ways to show love.  Why not celebrate it?  Celebrate love, marriage and your spouse.  And even better…celebrate your marriage every.single.day.

May you feel love this Valentine’s day and spread it all around you.




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