I just love being outside this time of year — breathing in deeply all those intoxicating scents — the scent of spring in the air.
Scents that bring my focus back to the beauty God has surrounded us with — the newness of life He has granted us. Sweetly scented flowers, freshly cut grass, spring rain showers — all the lovely smells of spring. Ah, to breath it all in…
But as much as I love bringing my work outside on my porch in order to let those scents wash over me, sometimes I feel a bit of an ache in my heart. A yearning of sorts for days gone by. Memories rush to the surface — memories of faraway friendships, childhoods of yesteryear, dreams not forgotten, loved ones gone too soon…
Funny how no other season awakens my mind and soul quite like spring. And though fall is my favorite season, spring, well, it just holds something special. Perhaps it is truly the beginning of the new year with all the new growth and life emerging from it — holding a bit of hope in all it’s beauty. And there is always hope in the newness of our lives, isn’t there? But yet there can also be hurt and pain which almost invariably comes with change and growth.
“Learn to write your hurts in sand and carve your blessings in stone.” ~Author Unknown
My heart has been heavy for the past few weeks. I have inadvertently carved my hurts in stone, allowing them to remain even when my tears have washed over them. I’m so good at keeping things locked deep inside that when something new comes along to remind me of those hurts deep down, I allow them to surface again. Like breaking open an old wound, over and over, so it never completely heals.
Instead, I should be writing my hurts in sand so the waves of Grace my precious Savior has freely given me can wash them away. But sometimes it’s hard, isn’t it? Especially with people who continually fail us. When hurtful, mean things are said about us even years later, when we are dismissed for reasons unknown or people just simply fail to live up to our expectations. I chose a week ago to deactivate my Facebook account after reading one too many posts which caused tears to drip from my cheeks and hurt to crush my heart. Yet while people will fail us, how truly thankful I am that God never does. I pray during this time of abstinence from the whole social media network that I can truly find forgiveness and grace to not allow others to have such control over my life.
So, as I continue working through the lessons that God places ever-so-patiently in front of me, I will link up with others in the gratitude community over here.
#210 – cards of love on Mother’s Day
#211 – thankfulness from my husband over another meal prepared
#212 – long heart-to-heart talks sharing hurts and ending with love
#213 – sitting with coffee and my bible on the porch in the still coolness of the morning
#214 – strawberries and ice cream to end a perfectly wonderful day
#215 – the smell of dinner cooking in the crock pot
#216 – a refreshing early morning walk
#217 – freshly made bed
#218 – yummy fresh produce available again at the locally owned market by my house
#219 – an early morning text from my hubby who leaves for work at 3:00am waiting for me when I wake up
The lessons God often gives to me — lessons in grace, forgiveness and humility — can be so very hard to learn let alone apply to my life, but I continue to try. I continue to look for the hope in all the newness around me and try to remember to write my hurts in the sand. And through it all, I will just breathe it all in. After all, the best we can sometimes to do in this life is to simply keep breathing….