Waiting too long…

Did I wait too long? Or just the right amount of time — God’s timing.

God’s timing is always so much better than mine. He knew where life would take me, even before I was a glint in my mother’s eye. He saw what was happening in my life and He knew when the right time would be to set me free from an abusive marriage.

This not-so-brave woman could never step out and away from all that was terribly wrong — horribly destructive in her life and that of her boys. But God placed courage and peace in her heart at just right the moment to take that step — a hard, heart-wrenching step into new life.

He knew when the time was right and He never waits too long.

At Crying Out For Justice blog I found these lyrics to a song written straight-from-the-heart of an abuse survivor…may they speak to you as much as they spoke to me:


I waited longer than I should have, trying to bow my knee.
Longer than I should have, trying to fix most everything.
Then the day arrived, tears falling from my eyes
And I realized that God was calling me.

Calling me to peace
Calling me to love
Calling me to end the strife,
Yes, calling me to life.
Calling me to go
Calling me to see
He was always there,
Saying, come dance with Me.

So I began the dance, one hot summer night
Trusting Him to lead me, away from all the fight.
Trusting Him to love me, just as He always had,
And leaning on Him fully, no longer living sad.

Calling me to dance
Calling me to see
He had never stopped
Really loving me
Calling me to rest
Calling me to live
He was always faithful
But now I had to give.

So I gave Him my hurt, gave Him all my dreams
Gave Him my heart, and He gently lifted me
Up from the depths of sorrow I had known
And gave me wings to fly, up to His heavenly throne.

Calling me to freedom
Calling me to peace
Calling me to live my life
In freedom from abuse
Calling me to wonder
Why I stayed so long
But had I left much sooner
I wouldn’t know this song.

I wouldn’t know the dance that God shared with me
I wouldn’t know the pain from which God set me free
I couldn’t be help to those that hurt just like me
I wouldn’t be sharing my pain for them to see.

He’s called me to freedom
Called me to peace
Called me to live my life
In freedom from abuse
Called me to help
Those along the way
Who needed my past hurt
To have their victory.


If you are still waiting for circumstances to change or the right moment to leave an abusive relationship, please know that God is always with you and will give you peace and life — the dance is sometimes longer than we would wish for, but what better dance partner could we ask for.

And here is another resource I would encourage about suffering in abusive/destructive relationships — wonderful wise words:  Does God Want Me To Suffer?

May the Lord give you peace and freedom from whatever you may be struggling with today.





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